Although, I will continue meeting with my Oncologist every three months, I am officially done with my Herceptin infusions!! This is such a relief after a solid year of treatments.
My Physical Therapist released me to continue working at home, deeming me “functionally normal” with room for improvement. Although I know I still have some hard work ahead of me, I am relieved to have that appointment off the books. Unless I have complications with surgery, I should not need to see her again.
These are huge hurdles, we are so glad to be done with that phase.
I’ve enjoyed these last few weeks with fewer doctor appointments. I actually had a solid 10 days with no appointments on the calendar. That felt a little weird, but was cushioned by so much relief and freedom to spend my time and energy elsewhere, mostly in resting and spending time with my family. It is nice not having to plan life around doctor appointments.
I am eager to get back to my “normal” life. It is easy to slip back into old habits. It has been a rude reality check not to bounce back to full capacity. I’ve unearthed some unrealistic expectations.
Subconsciously, I assumed that being done with treatment meant I would resume normal duties. I have had some rough days of reckoning, of sorting through unmet expectations and Truth. It’s easy to expect to feel bad when you are undergoing treatment, everyone expects that. It is the lingering after effects of treatment that I was not prepared for. As it turns out, rebuilding from treatment is almost as big a deal as treatment.
I recently re-read the scripture the Lord laid on my heart when I was first diagnosed, and my eyes settled on these verses,
“I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed. I crushed them so that they could not rise: they fell beneath my feet. You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet. You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes.” Psalms 18:37-40
Bam! Take that, cancer.
This road has been long, but the Lord has been with me every step of the way. He has promised to mend me, to make my body whole. I will continue holding on to that hope.
Ann Voskamp says, “Life is not an emergency, it is a gift.”
Even after all I’ve been through, I still forget how precious each and every moment is. How about you? Are you so weighed down in the dailiness of living that you forget to soak up His blessings, to relish the time He’s given you? As I adjust my expectations, I find a shift in my perspective helps me to be grateful. Or, perhaps, it is in the remembering to be grateful that my perspective shifts?
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