After having my port for over a year, the surgeon will remove it on Friday, the 10th of July! It is a fairly simple outpatient procedure, and less intrusive than when they put it in.
Whoo-hoo! I am beyond GLAD to be rid of this thing! It has been a hateful symbol of sickness, and I am grateful to be rid of it.
Towards the end of the month, I will meet with Oncology for labs and my three month check up.
Then, on July 28th, I am scheduled for breast reconstruction surgery. There have been many tears as we have wrestled through the decision to do this. The DIEP FLAP is expected to be a seven+hours long procedure, during which they will remove my belly fat and attach it to my chest wall, forming a breast out of my own fat and tissue. This surgery is nothing like your typical augmentation, as I no longer have any breast tissue to work with. They have to start from scratch. I won’t go into full details here, but you are welcome to read more about it, if you are interested.
Recovery for this procedure is expected to spread out over an eight week period. Initially, I will spend up to five days in the hospital.
Prior to my diagnosis of cancer, I had no inkling of all the different types of cancer, the countless possible side effects, treatments and what it meant to actually lose a breast. To each woman, the result of this will be drastically different, because there are too many variants that affect the outcome. How I thought I would respond to this, has not been how I actually did respond.
Cancer, and in general, most diseases do not follow some rulebook. We are are each uniquely made; the way our body, and our hearts react to something gone amiss in our body will always play out differently. James likes to say that it is a Science, until it goes into your body, then it turns into an Art. The results are always going to be different when you are dealing with the human element.
To say that it has been tough, is an understatement. I won’t get into all the whys on here, not now. I am still processing much of this. My heart is heavy. I want the restoration the surgery brings, but I do not want to go through with it. I am dreading the recovery, and what that will entail. There is no easy choice here. Really, I just wish I wasn’t facing this decision. If I could, I would choose not be here.
The number of hard decisions we’ve had to made at every fork of this wretched cancer journey have been staggering, overwhelming, and heartbreaking. I am grateful for the freedom of choice, but this has not come easily, or without heartache. There is a cost to each decision. There is never an exact right answer. Sickness, disease just totally stinks. Regardless of what you think, there is not a clearly defined path to follow out of it.
We will continue to pray, to ask for guidance; He will make our paths straight as we trust in his continued provision and wisdom. We appreciate your prayers in this regard, as well.
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