Our mom went to be with Jesus on Good Friday of this year. It was an unexpected death, and in many ways, it has rocked our worlds. Our dad died ten years ago. I never realized that it was possible for adults to feel orphaned.
We all thought we would have more time, more warning to say good-bye. I suppose there’s never enough time. A dear friend has been talking with me about how we always feel like we have to have all our loose ends tied up before we die, but this is not so. I don’t think it is truly even possible. Even though things were left undone and feel unfinished, another friend has reminded me that it is not over, that we will meet again. In that reunion, things will be redeemed and restored.
My heart has found peace in this, in seeking and claiming his Truths as I wrestle through the grief of all the undone and unsaid. It is crazy how walls of sorrow can hit you at the most unexpected times. But his peace seeps in. I know that she sits with the Father, and she sees him face to face, something she was desperate to do. She now knows and is fully known. I can rejoice in the hope that one day, we will have restoration and healing.
It is funny how sadness and joy can be two heads of the same coin. As we grieve the loss of our mom, we are getting ready to welcome her thirteenth grandchild into our family. Knowing our Mom will not meet this baby brings much grief; she joyfully welcomed each of her grand babies, it is hard to reconcile her absence with this one’s arrival.
My sister chose the name Isaiah for this baby, based on the promise of Isaiah 40:31,
“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.”
While this is a blessing and a promise for this new little one, I can’t help but think that it speaks of our mom as well. She was not well physically, her body was weak, but she had placed her hope in the Lord. I know that she is now healed and is no longer weary, but she is walking and running without growing weak.
In this promise, we can find comfort and hope, and yes, smile even while we grieve.
Romans 8
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We appreciate all of your prayers and kind support as we walk through this time. My nephew is scheduled to arrive by C-section today, Wednesday the 18th.
Leave a Reply