Sarah Denman

It was around this time last year we discovered a lump in my left breast. We have very distinct memories from this year. Some are super sweet while others are incredibly painful. Because I am still processing, it is hard to know which part of my story to share with you.

I am really grateful to be here. I am really grateful for my life. There is a movie out called, “The Croods.” My favorite part of the movie is when they wake up together yelling, “I’m alive!” They’re cavemen who appreciate every day.

The sweetness of that one statement rings true with me, although I cannot honestly claim that I have adopted their exact way of waking up. I might be a little less enthusiastic upon waking. I aspire to have that grateful attitude. It is such a sweet way to live.

God continues to teach me to rely on His daily bread. I’ve relearned this lesson too many times to count.

He is patient and gentle as he continues to remove my fingers from control. In my stubbornness I keep trying to yank it back from him only to have him pull away my fingers and tell me, yet again, “Trust me. I have this.”

It saddens me that I have not fully absorbed this lesson, except I know that I get it more now than a year ago.

Or at least I understand different facets of it that I never have before.

My faith continues to grow through these hard moments. I am grateful that He remains with me each and every day.

“It is because of him (God) that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God- that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.’”
I Corinthians 1: 30 & 31

Today… Is Sarah’s last radiation. Join me in a sigh of relief and a high five to Sarah for making it through. Radiation had an accumulative affect on Sarah, where she has been increasingly tired with every treatment. I can’t tell you how happy I am that she will be able to rest and heal for the next 6 months before another surgery.

She will still be taking Herceptin once every 3 weeks until April, that so far has only one side effect – itching.

So let’s pray in thankfulness that He has carried her through the treatments this year. Let’s pray for her body to heal over the coming years and for cancer to never show itself again in our family. I thank God for you all, your love and prayers.

Yay Sarah you are a champion!!! I love you.

I am sorry for the absence of updates. I have been lacking words to describe what the past several weeks have been like. Even so I wanted to send a brief update as I know many of you have been wondering how we are doing.

I am thankful that the Lord has grabbed hold of me and has not let me go. I cannot imagine going through this without Him.

Radiation has not been as hard on my body as chemotherapy. I am tired but not chemo tired. I am making baby steps towards healing and even have mini ‘splurges’ of energy some days. I am thankful to be able to rest as needed and I am (still) learning to be okay with that.

The most obnoxious part of radiation is the hour and a half (or more) it takes each day to drive there, get zapped and then drive home.

My hair is slowly growing back, I joke that I look like a fledgling. The kids are enjoying rubbing my head and are fascinated with this process.

In the meantime several of you have reached out to us. The cards, the meals, the prayers, the encouraging words… all have meant so much to me. Countless times we have received a card, a text, an email or some other form of love from one of you at JUST the right moment. We have felt your prayers and your cheering, it has lifted our spirits and helped us to keep on going even when we have felt overwhelmed and too burdened to continue.

Even in this valley The Lord continues to walk with me. He has carried me in the harder moments. We are grateful.

A few pictures from the last few months—

 

On Tuesday we met with the Oncology Radiologist, a very compassionate and caring doctor. He was excited about the new pathology report and told us it means her overall prognosis is better.

Here’s where the other shoe drops. We felt the thud.

Statistically speaking, he thinks the chance of reoccurrence without radiation is about 20%. With radiation that number goes down to 5%.

What? Why?

We were kind of blunt, such was our disappointment. He said it was a common question from people who are where we are, “Why radiate if there is no cancer?” He said that the pathology did not analyze the entire mass of tissue or lymph nodes, with this type of biopsy there is no way to possibly see all of the cells.Continue Reading

WOW!

Ahhh…. My heart sings and sighs. My mind races with wonder and bewilderment.

During our visit with the surgeon on Tuesday, she read aloud Sarah’s pathology report. There was NO sign of cancer. This was the surgeon’s first reading of the report; she was shocked and celebrated with us. She has never seen this before. With 30 years experience she has never seen this before!

Sarah and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes. We did not know what to think or say or how to act.

Thoughts rush in… like water gushing over sand stone washing the worries away with it. For some reason I look for permission to celebrate. In this journey, we have found “positive bad news” proliferates our conversations with our doctors.

Later in the day we spoke with the PA at our Oncology office, her response to the report as she read it for the first time, “Wow! I have never seen a pathology like this!…wow! Wow, wow, wow,…wow. ” She must have said wow no less than 15 times. She congratulated me and said this was cause for celebration.

Waves of emotion move through me. I feel as if a serpent has had my heart constricted and now new air is entering in and my body is trying to release and relax. Fear tries to re-enter, but the truth stands. Amazingly cautious and energized we moved through the rest of our day. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops!

What a freaking ride, what’s next?! What does this mean for the next step, radiation? Will her radiology team be just as surprised? Will they change perspective and change treatment? There is no remaining cancer, none found in all of the tissue and the 13 lymph nodes they removed…I think this is an exceptional case warranting a second look at the protocol.

Thank you for celebrating with us. We are thankful, amazed and just… wow.

We started our day with a beautiful sunrise and a sense that God is with us.

The words “God has got this!” continued to come to mind. They also continued to come from you all who have  faithfully supported us. There hasn’t hardly been any doubt that He has her in His arms.

Sometimes we have tried to make it more complicated than it needs to be, but it is simple. He wants to remove from Sarah’s body that which could destroy her.

So today she started another phase of the race; she had surgery to remove her left breast. This was done to ensure there was no breast tissue for these bad cells to grow in again.

We arrived at 8:45, she started surgery at 10:22, and we rejoined in the hospital room around 2.

It has been a long day, and she is super tired from all the pain management medicine. Dr. Morrison said the surgery was routine and we will have results of any biopsies by Friday.

We have enjoyed good care today. Our doctor is great, and the nurses caring for her are super nice and careful. Amazingly like minded.

We have appreciated all the prayers and encouraging words.

From a deeply grateful heart, Thank you – James