Our hearts are heavy. We met with a Radiologist Oncologist. We went in expecting it to be an in and out visit; he was supposed to be awed by how great I had responded to treatment and send us on our merry way (Can you picture naive Pollyanna dancing around?).
Um, no. Enter harsh reality.
He did agree that I have responded well to treatment. However, after examining me, he told us that the tumor was still there. We were completely surprised and dismayed to hear this but he showed us, we could feel it. He did concede, after James told him our oncologist said it was gone, that it is possible that it could be damaged tissue from the tumor. But it is in the exact spot and shape of the tumor so it is highly suspicious.
He went over our pathology report with us and drew some pictures so we could better understand what was going on. He also showed us some illustrations from a book. I would say we have unveiled another layer of understanding this thing.
I wanted to scream.
I think I have been downplaying the seriousness of it, in my mind we had already whipped it; I have been ready to move on (sweet Pollyanna). This meeting was a major downer. We learned a bit more about how aggressive this cancer is; the fact that it had broken out of the ducts and had spread to the lymph nodes does not speak kindly of the cancer. The characteristics of the cancer are not friendly, they do not look like the original cell much. They’ve distorted at an alarming rate.
Stupid cancer. My body is not a play ground for their antics, it is not home for them.Continue Reading